In my strange little life, I quite often I find myself doing odd things.
Just for instance… having a pet cow called Denis.
An unusual name for a cow maybe considering that moo cows is normally ladies.
A little more unusual perhaps considering that Denis was an oven glove and we were inseparable for many years.
And there was this one time – in my early twenties – that I had a best friend call Dwayne.
Nothing unusual about that either really.
Oh, unless you count that Dwayne was a jam jar.
I could tell many a tale about Denis and Dwayne.
I won’t though, as I am a little afeared of the men in white coats.
This week I found myself doing something that seemed rather odd.
I made myself a lovely big mug of steaming hot tea.
And then dunked a pair of brand new clean white socks in it.
It was such a peculiar moment (even for me) and I found myself having to get the camera out so I could share my sock tea with the world!
(When I say ‘the world’ obviously I mean the 7 of my friends who will actually read this).
Thing is though see, I needed tea dyed socks to finish off a zombie I was making for an awesome friend’s (Little Black Heart) birthday
She already has a zombie (called Byron), but he was lonely and needed a love interest. So now he has Mathilda.
Look. Here is the very girl. Isn’t she, erm, beautiful?
and here is a picture of her sitting alongside her new boyfriend
In the words of Little Black Heart (to be read in a seth efriken accent) “she is sitting naasly alongside Byron, on the shelf above my workstation, so i can see them both at all times and it warms my cold dead heart to look at them.”
She also says she’s going to ““Keep an eye on them, make sure they aren’t running around the house armed with butcher knives, chucky-style”
and here is her artistic impression of that very event… isn’t she clebber?
So anyway, I guess when it comes down to it, because I had an actual ‘for proper’ reason for putting a pair of socks in a cup of tea, it’s really much less odd than having a jam jar for a friend?
Or making fruit people and then not being able to eat them because they have a face?
Or answering the door to the postman wearing a blue afro wig and a pair of bunny ears?
Or grinning insanely at strangers on the bus and whispering “I like shaaaarp things?”
Or playing tag rugby in Sainsburys with various large items of fuit (mostly melons obvs)?
Or NO. NO. MUST SIT ON TYPING FINGERS.
*whistles sheepishly and shuffles off*